A Quick Short Story (Ready in 5 Minutes)

 

Number One Best Noodles Ramen - Recipe Guide

1) Folow this recipe exactly for perfect noodles every time.

2) Open packet, remove noodles. Put sauces aside. At this point, boil kettle, which will give you time to think.

3) Put noodles in a pan - do not add heat yet. The kettle still needs to boil. You have two to three minutes to think about things. 

4) As the kettle boils, let your mind wander. You're here, it's 11:30am on a work day, and you are sorting yourself out with some ramen. It'll be really tasty.

5) Add boiling hot water to ramen. You need to boil this for at least four minutes. 

During that time, it will allow you to stare out of the window (if you are lucky enough to have one) and think about how you got here. You have four minutes to think about how your life transformed so dramatically over six months, and that you have not left the house, even for groceries as they have been delivered to your door.

Stir the ramen after 90 seconds.

You think about how utterly fortunate you are to be able to work from home, and how so many other people have faced such hardships in their jobs. You should feel guilty at this point - it is natural. 

Check the ramen has separated after two minutes.

You start to think about the decline in all of your (admittedly few) frienship groups, and desire to see them more regularly, over Zoom, over the phone, over fucking anywhere. You should be staring at a space above the  hob at this point for maximum tastiness. 
You have thought about your workplace requiring people back next month. This unnerves you. 

At this point, the ramen should be boiling.  

6) Remove the ramen from the heat, and at this point think about all of the other things you did during lockdown - you said you would start painting, and you did, kind of. You said you would write stories, and you wrote one draft and then deleted it. 
You should check your phone at this point, to give the ramen a rest, and to remind yourself where the ultimate blame lies.

7) Add the sauce sachets to the ramen. As you do so, think about everything you used to do and now can't. This meal will serve as a reminder. 

8) Enjoy.